Odd Couples
by DiverkinWaterborn
Summary: 600 word drabbles of pairings coughed up by a random generator. Love, hate, best buddies, peace-making and faygo ensue! All chapters are set in the Veil. Newest drabble: GamzeeXAradia Moirails
1. TavrosXFeferi: Teacher

**So what happens when you take the trolls, split them into gender groups and run them through a random number generator? **

**Random pairing drabbles! And oh boy, do I have a tough one to start with. Nothing like a challenge, is there?  
**

**Hope you enjoy! (Although if you don't, do say.)  
**

* * *

"Uh, Feferi, I don't think this is, uh, a very good idea."

You giggle and extend a hand.

"Come on, Tavros! It's reely fun, trust me!"

He stammers and blushes, but he descends shakily into the pool. The adjustments Equius made to his legs hold up, and soon he's standing on the bottom, water up to his waist. He squeaks a little at the chill. Putting this pool in was the best idea you've had for a while! The seadwellers really needed somewhere to keep damp, so you asked Equius and Kanaya to help you build this. Only a little thing, more like a fish tank than a pool, but it reminds you of home.

You swim up to Tavros and stand, glubbing in excitement. He looks bemused and a bit lost and rather cute, if you dare say so!

"Alright then, Tav! Just lie on your front and I'll support you!"

"Won't I, be, uh, a bit heavy?"

"Not in the water! Now lie forward!"

He complies, because you'll keep him here all day to learn how to swim if you have it your way, and you bring your arms under his chest and wow, he's buff! Nowhere _near_ Equius level, and not the lean grace of Karkrab, but he's got quite a bit of muscle. It must be from his days in that wheeled device that awful cerulean-blood put him in.

"Now, just do what Gamzee showed you, okay? And keep your chin above water!"

Ah, Gamzee. You don't think Tav would be here now if it weren't for the clownfish! But the purple-blood knew how to swim a little, and Tavros was very receptive to ideas from his best bro. It's cute! You think they'd be great morayeels, at the least!

You watch him do the motions like he's been taught, and then you say, "Okay, Tav, I'm going to let go now. Keep doing those motions, and remember what Gamzee said!"

"It's, um, harder in the water, than on a table," he stammers out, voice tight with exertion.

"You'll be fine! I'll be right next to you, okay? Trust me!"

You drop your arms, and there's an awful moment where you think Tavros might sink, but the legs don't drag him down. He starts moving away, feet kicking and arms pulling, and then he laughs!

"I, I'm doing it!" he cries out to the world, "I'm doing it, I'm swimming!"

You laugh too, and then you join him, lazily swimming alongside and glubbing encouragement at him. His face is all screwed up with effort and he's slow but he looks so happy to be doing anything at all with his new legs. When he reaches the other side and stands, you think he looks quite handsome with the water shining off his torso and he looks so pleased with himself, so you can't help but give him a big hug!

"Um, thank you, Feferi."

"Not a problem," you say, and in your mind you weigh up the options and eventually you decide "to the pit with it." You're lonely (Sollux isn't really matespirit material -but he's great, don't get that wrong), you never cared for the haemospectrum, and he's cute. It'll make Vriska angry too, but that's just the coral on top of the reef.

You plant your lips on his, just briefly, and watch his face turn toffee.

"Uh, oh, um, Feferi, um," he babbles.

You put a finger on his lips to shoosh him, and then you go in again and you're pleased when he responds.

That's two things you've taught him today!


	2. EquiusXTerezi Moirails: Contrast

**This one was even more difficult to write than the previous one, beyond "these two have never talked to each other" - with Tav/Fef, it was easy to write something cute because they're characters that lend themselves well to that kind of material. Equius and Terezi don't really have anything in common at all, so I had to engineer something that ignores the canon series of events entirely. But hey fanfiction does that all the time anyway so whatever. I also wanted to deal with the idea of temporary moirails, because Nepeta and Equius are just too great together to split up, but I didn't see Terezi and Eq in anything else.**

**Feel free to comment and critique!  
**

* * *

The teal-blood intrigues you. She is a lady of contrasts.

She is not prim and proper like your mental image of a teal-blood is. She is a wrecking ball of energy, a diamond grin flashed at anyone she cares for and kept hidden from those she scorned. She laughs all too much. And her method of seeing is simply lewd and improper, although she cannot help it. Her opinions, too, are wrong – she cares not for the haemospectrum, and seems oddly fixated on that awful mutant colour, claiming it "tastes the best."

And on the opposing end, she is exactly everything a teal-blood should be. Her cane gives her a regal air, even though she doesn't need it. Her pursuit of the law is admirable, even when Alternia no longer exists to enforce it. And she refuses orders from that little upstart, a quality you wish you could borrow for even a little while.

An odd contrast indeed. And yet she seems to be a constant, a solid rock in these troubled times. Her cackle is a regular feature of the times when your shifts and hers align. Nothing seems to upset her – in fact, the humans have only seemed to spur her on to new, giddying heights. It angers Karkat so much that you wonder what their quadrants even are.

So when you hear her howl, slap Karkat away from her and bolt for the transportalizer, you are more distressed than you will admit. No-one seems to be keen on following her – Her Majesty is moirailizing with the mustard-blood, and the jade-blood is busy with the survival of your species. So you are the one to go after her, and the last thing you see before you leave is the candy-red bruise on his disbelieving face.

You find her, alone, sobbing uncontrollably at the edge of one of those damned floating platforms, blindly staring into the oblivion below.

You do the only thing you can think to do.

Mentally cursing yourself, silently begging your beloved Nepeta for forgiveness, you pull Terezi away from the edge as gently as you dare. Your grip must feel like a vice to her. You sit her down on the floor and shush her when her tears redouble themselves, and little by little it comes out, how she manipulated the Dave human through time, causing him to, in a sense, die, and how it was her fault.

You don't dismiss these concerns. That would make you a bad moirail. Instead, you tell her it was necessary. She had to show the Dave human the nature of the travels he took, how he risked himself every time he made a loop, and the importance behind the decision of going God Tier. You take her concerns and wrap them in reasoning and at the end of it, she's not crying anymore.

She looks at you, a shadow of her usual grin on her face, and says that you must have picked up a lot from Nepeta. Your gut twists in guilt, and you protest that no, this was merely a necessity, only temporary, and to suggest otherwise would be hugely improper, and –

She crawls over and licks your face. You stare at her blankly, almost in horror. When her expression screws up and she complains that you taste of ink and sweat, you can't stop the laughter for some reason, and neither can she.

The oddest part was that you liked it.

Sometime later, Nepeta told you that there was no such thing as pale infidelity, and you were never more relieved in your entire life.


	3. SolluxXVriska Kismesis: Make Her Pay

**Time for some hate, with a very interesting pair.**

**Comments and critique are always welcome!**

* * *

You hate her so much.

It's a sick, well-cultivated hate, made raw by your confinement, your proximity to that bitch. She wouldn't get it. She'd think you were made to hold grudges against her. After all, it was only messing around, right? Just a bit of fun! It'd suck _soooooooo_ much if it ended their friendship!

Yeah, sure. Pushing Tavros off a cliff and breaking his spine was only messing around. Blinding Terezi was just a bit of fun. Using _you_ to kill Aradia, your best friend in the world, shouldn't be something to end a friendship over.

Hah.

You promised to never strike back, like all the other times. You promised not to get involved. But you can do far, far better than that. You're Sollux Captor, code whizz and motherfucking psionic. If you can't find a way to break her down from afar, no-one can.

You keep your thoughts to yourself when you're near her. You can't trust her or her stupid mind powers. When you're working in the same room as her, you keep your mind on other things. Not on the humans, they're a waste of time. You think about Alternia, or Aradia, or about your next feelings jam with Feferi. But when you're alone, or with those less gifted (most of the others, to be frank), you plot and plan and stew your blackness some more.

Eventually, your obsession with binary helps you make a plan based on two other people – the John human, blissfully unaware of her crimes, and Tavros "useless" Nitram, who is apathetic to them.

Time to make her pay.

You message the John human, and send him the logs of her taunting and gloating after each crime. Bit by bit, inch by inch, you make him see how bad she is, how dangerous she could be. It's like drawing blood out of a stone – this kid is too _nice_ – but in the end he agrees that she's a threat. You throw in a plea not to tell her who sent the logs, to seem desperate. He falls for it.

One – nil.

Tavros is harder to use as an asset, and for a while you're stumped. It's a few days before you find something you can use. You didn't expect _that_, to be frank, but it's not like he's Eridan when it comes to quadrants, and the fact that it is who it is will drive her wild. You carefully hack in, grab a few choice quotes and slip out again, leaving no trace.

Two – nil.

You leave a little present for Vriska on her account's desktop. Again, there's no trace. You've made sure she can't pin it on you for any reason. You've even dropped your typing quirk for this, and that feels as odd as hell but it's worth it in the end.

You relish her twin shrieks of rage and horror. One when she reads the logs you've left for her to read. Another when, after a lengthy, frenzied typing session, the John human blocks her.

Oh yes, you made her pay alright.

Tav gets some flak for a few days. For some reason, he doesn't crumple like he would have done back in the game. Instead, he ignores her, keeps doing what he's doing. This infuriates her more. It's not long before she finds out the culprit regardless, and when she storms towards you, you're prepared to die, maybe.

It comes as a relief when she almost bites your bottom lip off in a hatekiss.

"I'll make you pay," she hisses.

"Looking forward to it," you growl back.


	4. KarkatXNepeta: Discovery

**Okay so the generator produced this, so I wrote it. I don't really like this pairing because it invalidates the point of Nepeta's arc (what we've seen of it anyway), but I wrote it because there's plenty of fans of it and I want to keep them happy, I guess. The next story will be a lot more interesting, trust me.**

**Leave comments, crit, etc.**

* * *

"What the grub-munching fuck is this?"

You're not sure who's more mortified, you or him. He looks at you, then at the wall with that shameful drawing, then back at you, his face thunderous.

Some way of finding out, huh?

"What the hell is this, Nepeta?" he asks again, face… red?

"I-I'm sorry," you squeak out, "I- I-I didn't- I mean, I wouldn't-"

"How long?"

You stare at him. "Huh?"

"How long," he repeats. "How long have you been red for me?"

"Um…"

He picks up on your hesitation and groans.

"That long? Fuck."

He backs against the corridor wall and slides down, eyes fixed back on that drawing. A part of your thinkpan, trying to get away from all of this, notes you've drawn his horns a bit too small. What a stupid thought.

"I'm sorry," he says, suddenly.

"Wh- what for?"

"Shit, I dunno! For ignoring how you felt about me. For being a fucking disgraceful leader. For getting us all stuck on this pile of shit meteor. For-"

"Karkitty, shut up! You're not a bad leader! You've done really well and you're really brave and I wouldn't have anyone else as a leader!"

He looks at you with surprise, but that vanishes and sullenness takes its place.

"You would say that," he mutters. "You think the moon shines out of my nook, judging by that drawing."

"Noooo! It's not like that!" You sit next to him, as close as you dare, and put a hand over his. He tries to flinch away, but your grip is strong. "Yes, you can be a grumpy jerk and you're bossy sometimes but I like you _anyway_! You're not perfect! But you're a good leader and you care a lot about everyone and that's why I like you!"

He sighs heavily.

There's a pause, and you want to tell him more, but you don't want to scare him away either. This is obviously a lot for him to take in. For lack of anything better to do, you stare at your expansive shipping wall again.

Then his hand turns over and curls around yours.

"Okay."

You stare at him, and he's not quite looking at you but his face is flushed bright red. Now you understand a few things.

"Okay," he says again, and then turns to look you in the eye. "I'm… I'm going to say yes."

You almost stop breathing.

"Really?"

"Damn it, Nepeta, I already said yes, I don't wanna repeat myself anymore than I have to!"

"B- but," you stammer, flushing, "what about Terezi?"

He shrugs.

"I don't know. Last time we talked we agreed we weren't red for each other, but we weren't black either. So, um..."

You don't know what to do! You've dreamed about moonlit confessions and candlelit dinners and _romance_, and instead you got a hasty, fumbled agreement in a steel-grey corridor and you still wouldn't change it for anything else because _your dream has come true_.

You hug him, hard.

"Woah, woah," he yells as you practically smother him. "Hold off on the touchy-feely, cat girl! We're gonna set some fucking ground rules first."

You make a "murr" noise and bury your head in the crook of his neck. "Go ooon."

"Rule one," he says, reaching to ruffle your hair, "no RP. None. I'd rather kill myself than roleplay."

"Aww, but Karkitty! You'd be great at RP! You'd make the purrfect Signless!"

"Rule two, tone down the kitty puns."

"Adorable, then."

"Rule _three_," he growls, "I'm adora_bloodthirsty_. Get it right."

"Of course you are, Karkitty!"

He sighs contentedly. You purr.

"Damn straight."


	5. GamzeeXAradia Moirails: Okay

**Told you it was a more interesting pairing. This was fun to write!**

**Leave comments and crit as always!  
**

* * *

You're okay with pretty much everything.

And so is he. That might be because of the sopor, though.

The reason you're okay with everything is because you're dead. And you don't really have any more things to do at the moment. You're waiting for when the demon comes around to Derse, and that's going to take a while, so you sit at the computer and pretend to troll these humans. The humans don't really matter. Nothing much matters at the moment.

Nothing much matters to him, but it's not out of a sense of purpose or anything similar. He's simply content where he is, in a haze of half-sleep and good cheer. Most of the time, he isn't on the computers. He's sitting in the horn pile, idly honking or muttering to himself, or just staring into space. He often offers the others a chance to recuperate, but they always decline, fearing Their voices. You've never feared Their voices. They weren't anything to be scared of.

You're not too sure why you decide to hang out with him. Maybe it's to get away from Equius. You're okay with him, but not the same way you're okay with everything else. You suspect a normal person might be disgusted. But that doesn't matter.

You quickly learn things about him. You learn that he truly believes in the Mirthful Messiahs, a fact that hasn't changed despite being on this asteroid. You learn that he prefers grape Faygo, but he'll drink most flavours without complaint. You learn that he has a flush crush on Tavros and he's thinking of acting on it. You wish him luck.

You're okay with being his friend. Others aren't, but they don't matter.

Then one day he's not okay. He comes up to you, with bags under his eyes and fear in his pupils.

"Sis," he says, "I'm hearing wicked voices in my motherfucking thinkpan."

You sit him down. Haltingly, he tells you that there are voices in his head, telling him to be a Subjugglator, to paint pictures with blood, to stand tall and be the Mirthful Messiahs and to kill Karkat and Nepeta and Eridan, and when he tells you they're telling him to kill Tavros his makeup is tracked with tears.

You lock him in his room. You're not okay with it, but it has to be done. You send trays through a slot in the door, containing food and water and a vial of dilute sopor to help wean him off his addiction. He thanks you every time.

By the third day there are cacophonic bangs on the walls. He screams like a street preacher, chokes down the sopor, refuses the food. He can't cut himself because you removed sharp edges from his room and blunted his teeth and nails, but he still savages himself. You refuse the others entry. Even Karkat. This matters to you. It's the first thing to matter to you in forever.

By the fifth day, he's silent. You risk opening the door, and he sits there in a crater of a room looking like he's about to fall over and die.

He grins.

"I did it, sis," he whispers, voice a croak. "I beat those blasphemers. They won't trouble a brother no more."

"Good," you say, and you smile.

It takes forever to clean him, to wash the sweeps of grease from his hair and clothes and reapply his make-up, and when he's finished he looks like a new troll. He plants a chaste kiss on your forehead.

"Thanks so much, sis."

"That's okay," you say. And it really is.


End file.
